Wednesday, 31 May 2017

The Election Diaries: Day 43: Tuesday 30th May 2017: Monsters Raving

Tuesday 30th May 2017
Day 43

Why. Why, why, why.

After you've seen your would-be Home Secretary get crucified, with that stupid LBC interview being played over and over again of her forgetting her numbers, wouldn't you at least check the things before you went on air?

Seriously, wouldn't you have half a clue?

My father sums it up when he comes in from playing football, I ask him if he's OK, and he launches into "Hmm, well, I'm not sure, let me just-I will be able to tell you in a moment, at the moment I cannot quite lay my hands on that answer-"

And, of course, the Corbynistas start sending Emma Barnett, the journalist who found herself with a guy who had so little clue about his own policy I'd be better off asking one of the cashiers at Waitrose about skydiving, a whole bunch of abuse for having the nerve to do her job, because how dare anyone criticise Lord Jesus of Corbyn? The best tweet has to be this one:

It's tough to choose, but I think the ***BREAKING NEWS*** bit is my favourite. I don't know whether to hope these guys genuinely saw it as some sort of Watergate or not.

Meanwhile, I'm trying to figure out how to get out there campaigning, and with a lot of messaging one of my friends, we manage to figure out a way. That's a problem with having AS that another 20-year-old campaigner probably wouldn't face-the dyspraxia leaves my spatial awareness off but my anxiety means that I have to prepare for things in advance. I can't just hop on a bus.

Of course, then we have the battle of the polls in the evening, and if I was a pollster, I'd really be thinking about junking the whole thing in after the last two years, because the latest genius result has one showing a hung parliament and another having the Tories winning a 100-seat majority, at least. I'm starting to wonder if some people just get annoyed permanently snatching the phone up to hear someone chirp "Can I just ask who you're voting for?" and so shove out any old name just to get them to leave them alone. Personally, I'd be tempted to tell them the Monster Raving Loony Party and dare them to question the choice.

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